If you’re like me, the ones you love the most don’t speak a lick of English.
I‘m talking about dogs, of course.
But not just my dogs – my grandma, too. My granny Caridad (her name means “Charity”,) was born in Puerto Rico and didn’t really know much English other than “coffee for granny!“
And I never learned much Spanish, which is nobody’s fault, except maybe that of the pediatrician that advised against me and my brothers learning two languages so we wouldn’t get confused. And yet I’m still, quite often, confused. But I digress.
My grandma passed away at 89 this June, just 10 days shy of her 90th birthday.
I loved (and still love) her so very much.
Even though I could never sit down and have a chat with her, I felt her love, her warmth, her sweetness, and her pride and joy all along. It all came through clearly in her giggles, her cooking, in the mischievous twinkle in her eye… and her just being there.
And her love has rang through my mother, who learned to be a strong, resilient, silly, loving, always-there mom from her.
Sometimes I wish I could have learned Spanish in time to really talk to her. But while I have spent years trying, I realized that there was nothing from what I learned through my Duolingo sessions that I actually wanted to say.
It’s strikingly similar to how, when I ponder what I would say if my dogs could talk… absolutely nothing comes to mind.
As a writer, maybe it’s ironic that so many times in life I feel that words are not necessary at all.
And while there was never an exchange of words between my grandma and my dogs, either – though I‘m certain she has snuck them bites of turkey on Thanksgiving – they never needed to know how to speak Spanish or English to fall in love with her.
Every time my grandma came to visit, or I brought my dogs to her house, they were glued to her side the whole time. Matilda would curl up in her lap and just snuggle her for hours.
Grandma loved my dogs just as much as I do, and that will always be one of my favorite things about her. Even though I’ll always have those what-ifs, my heart feels full knowing that she got to see me happy, got to know my dogs, and shared in that love.
I know now that when you have love that radiates through you, not being able to find the words… really isn’t a problem at all. You‘ll still know you’re surrounded by love til the very end.